


In Your Head

by WeAreNumberOne



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Underswap (Undertale), Error Sans - Freeform, Gen, Mentions of sansgore, Mild mentions of Sansby, Underswap Grillby (Undertale), Underswap Papyrus (Undertale), Underswap Sans (Undertale), Yeehaw juice, cussing but not much i dont think, fighting scenes, mentions of noncon, nonconsensual SOUL touching which can be considered rape, references to past abuse, some gore(?)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-12
Updated: 2019-07-30
Packaged: 2020-04-24 10:48:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,712
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19171738
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WeAreNumberOne/pseuds/WeAreNumberOne
Summary: After an eight month recovery from a broken leg, Sans is excited to get back to his old life! He's ready to make new friends and jump headfirst into training!Just maybe not the training his "new friends" put him to...





	1. Chapter 1

Sans woke up in a cold sweat. He laid in bed for a few minutes, staring up at his ceiling, mulling over his dreams.  
He didn't dream often, unlike his brother, who had nightmares frequently. No, he didn't dream at all. Ever. Sometimes it was disappointing, and he often felt like he was missing out on some amazing secret. Papy had always told him they weren't anything special, but the rest of the monsters said otherwise. They all insisted that dreams could become a reality, and if you dreamt hard enough…

Sans certainly hoped they wouldn't. Not after that night's, at least. He slipped out of his bed and stretched, arching his back lavishly, reaching his hands up towards his ceiling. It was dark in his room. The town lights weren't on yet, and Papy wasn't awake to turn on the house lights downstairs (then again, when had he ever gotten up early enough to do that?). This was his favorite time of morning. All alone, the shadows settling in around him and calming him. After relaxing again, he set to his early morning routine.  
The skeleton limped over to his closet, pulling out a plain gray shirt and tugging it on. Next were his sweatpants, with the left leg rolled up above his knee. He grabbed the "brace" off his side table and pulled it over his leg, tightening the straps painfully. It wouldn't slip off today. He finally pulled his boots from under his bed and laced those on, then stood, wincing. It only took a small bit of magic to stabilize his leg, but he knew by the end of the day he'd be exhausted. One of the many downsides of his injury.

Next was the bathroom. He slipped out into the hallway, shutting the door softly and tiptoeing past his brothers room. He brushed his teeth, splashed water on his face, and went downstairs. He'd learned his lesson when he'd first messed up his leg. If he went down too fast, it would give out and he'd end up worse off than before. He gripped the railing and made sure to take it slow. No excited leaping down three stairs at a time anymore. Breakfast. He needed to make breakfast for Papy.  
The house quickly filled with the sounds of cooking and the smell of a simple meal. No sooner had he started than he heard Papy's bedroom door creak open, and the thumping footsteps of him trudging around upstairs. Good.  
A few minutes later he joined Sans in the kitchen.

"hey weeb."

"Good morning Papyrus!" He flashed him a bright, happy smile. His brother saluted back, digging in their cupboard for coffee. "Did you sleep well?"

"sure." He grabbed a cup, filled it with water, and dumped it into the top of their coffee machine, repeating the process three times.

Sans checked him. Nothing off. His Hp was… as okay as it could be, at least. "... You okie doke?" He knew the answer already, but nonetheless.

"just tired. i was up late. you know."

"Do I?"

Papyrus glanced back at him. "hm?"

"Do I know? I don't remember you telling me."

They eyed each other for a moment, sort of challenging one another. Papyrus finally shrugged again. "muffets. you know."

"... Doing what?"

Papyrus sighed, turning around fully. "look, i know you're upset so stop acting so calm. i'm sorry. i was just hanging out with… muffet. you know."

Sans rolled his eyelights. "I'm not that gullible. Fine. Don't tell me, nerd." He dropped two plates off on the table, sitting down. Papy finished up making coffee and gave Sans his, then took his respective seat.  
They ate in silence, barely even looking at each other.

It was like this most mornings. Quiet, not much conversation other than their good mornings. That wasn't a bad thing. In fact, Sans found it rather peaceful, and he assumed his brother did as well since he never tried to fill the silence with weather talk. Sitting together like this, just enjoying the company, was always what he needed in the mornings. That and coffee of course. Without his coffee he would never make it through his daily training! Speaking of training, he couldn't remember if Papyrus was going with him today. He'd meant to ask the night before, but of course his brother was out long past the time Sans went to sleep-

"hey."

Sans perked up. "Yes?"

"did you sleep okay?" Paps always talked with his mouth full, the savage.

He hesitated. ".... Well, yes. I mean, I had another nightmare, so..."

"oh?" That caught his brothers interest. "what about?"

Sans shrugged, a sneaky smile creeping over his face. "Oh… You know."

Papyrus waited for more, then snorted and shook his head. "touche. if you're done eating get outta my house."

"Our house." He stood up anyways, grabbing his plate, Papy's, and their cups. "Aren't you coming today?"

"nah kid, i gotta rest these old bones. you've been working me to death with all your training. make sure to check the door for me, alright? keep an eye out for humans?"

Sans deposited the dishes in the sink and went to the door, Papyrus trailing behind him. "Of course! I would never slack off on that!" He beamed at his brother as he helped tie his scarf on. "What do you take me for, some kind of savage like you?"

Papyrus knelt in front of him, smiling softly back. "'course not. now gimme a hug."

He kissed his cheek and wrapped his arms around him, squeezing tight. It was warm and welcoming, like always. This was their usual routine in the mornings: kiss, hug, go.

"i love you," Papyrus mumbled suddenly. "i love you a lot. you mean everything to me. stay safe out there, okay?"

"Yep! I'm always safe here! Nothing can take down the Magnificent Sans!" He assured him, squeazing tighter.

Papyrus pulled back, his gaze flitting down to Sans's knee for a moment. He looked away just as quickly, then tapped on the hard plastic front of the brace. "how's it feeling?"

"Perfect! Nothing I can't handle."

"you've been limping a lot. maybe you should take a day off with me?" He looked hopeful.

Sans hesitated. Tempting. Very tempting. He used up huge amounts of magic everyday just to keep his leg from giving out, and he had to admit it was exhausting.  
…. But someone had to do it.  
"No, I'll be fine. It gets a little stiff if I don't work it! Now I have to go now, or I won't make it to Alph's place on time. You have a fun resting day. Do the dishes."

"of course."

He gave Papyrus another peck on the cheek, scooped up his backpack, and opened the door, pulling his bandana up over his face and stepping out into the nice crisp air. Although the skeleton didn't turn back again, he knew his brother was there watching him leave, just like he did every morning. On one hand it was comforting, knowing he was watching over him. On the other it was unnerving. What was he so scared about anyways? He was always paranoid, but recently it just felt over the top. Sans was a grown monster! He didn't need his brother treating him like a child all the time.

… Of course, he couldn't blame him. Especially not after the incident with his leg…  
Sans shook off thoughts of it. No point dwelling on things like that! It was an accident and that was all. Sans's instincts were keen, and almost nothing could get past him! The only reason he'd been injured was because he hadn't had proper sleep. If he'd just stopped and rested, he could've- he would've been able to-

Stop it! He scolded himself, breaking into a jog at the edge of town. No point being so hard on yourself over something like that!  
The town melted away into the dark woods. As he passed the lanterns along the path, he stopped to light each one for the day, humming happily and ignoring the growing strain on his magic. He'd just had breakfast, but even so, lighting the lanterns was draining way too much out of him. He'd need a snack soon. One or two monsters were milling about, but it was still too early for the town to really be awake. No one to bother him as he calibrated his puzzles and checked his traps. By the time he got halfway to the ruins, his leg forced him to stop and rest. While he did so, he also decided to snack a little. He looked up and down the path with bright eyes, expecting to see someone, but no. The skeleton was still alone here.

Sans liked being alone. The solitude was better than the uncomfortable silences with other monsters. The way they looked away when he smiled at them, his old friends who avoided him now. He'd gotten used to being alone, and really it wasn't such a bad thing. It was peaceful. He felt better like this. Last time he'd hung out with one of the few people still willing to talk, they'd asked him about his leg. They didn't want to know about him, just about all the things that had gone down while he'd been gone, including how he'd messed up his leg as bad as he did. He didn't want to talk to anyone after that. The only people he felt comfortable with were Papyrus, Alphys, and sometimes Napstabot and Undyne. But even they were stretching it.

Dang, he needed to get moving. At this rate, Alphys would kill him for how late he was going to be. He stood, brushed the snow off of his sweatpants, and started off again. Not long now until the ruins. He walked and walked, keeping an eye out for any humans, but there were none today. Sans hadn't expected any anyways. Two humans had fallen down in quick succession recently, and both had breezed through his puzzles. He didn't think there would be anymore anytime soon.  
...They were nice kids. They'd treated him like a friend they'd known forever! Papyrus was always cold to them, though, and he could guess why: Paps didn't want to get close to them. Sans knew he shouldn't eavesdrop, but he'd heard the desperate, hushed conversations him and Undyne had at night. Two more SOULS. Two more and the monsters would be free. Papyrus would stay up hours, scheming with Undyne on their weird little plans. Sans was used to falling asleep to it on the other side of his wall. That might explain all the recent nightmares, with their weird cryptic speech.

He pulled to an abrupt stop when he came across Papyrus's station.  
… Stealing a tiny snack wouldn't be a crime.  
He hunted around the thing for awhile, but all he found was a bottle of honey. It would work. He carried it with him to the door of the ruins, sipping it gingerly. There was a man he heard in there sometimes. Sans and him had spoken a few times, much like Papyrus and Undyne with their midnight shenanigans. They spoke in hushed, secretive tones, although no one was ever around to hear. They talked about their lives, and the man talked about his children. They talked about their mutual loneliness, their happiness and the friends they still had, lost friends, losing family…  
He leaned back against the door, then knocked. There was no answer. He waited a few moments, then slid down and sat in the snow. He'd wait a while, and if the old man didn't show, he'd be on his way.

Sans and him had been talking since long before his little accident. And although he'd gone missing for a long time, the man seemed to be dancing around the topic just as much as he himself did. Neither one wanted to address it. Sans had wanted to tell him for so long…  
He'd wanted to tell someone. Someone he knew wouldn't judge him, or treat him any differently…  
He knocked again.  
Maybe he was just paranoid. If people knew the full story, they might not avoid him as much. He'd have his friends back, he'd have a chance too apologize for everything…

Sans sighed and stood up, leaning down a little to rub his sore knee. His magic could only do so much for him before it just became too much. The healing wasn't working, the brace just felt like decoration, and he couldn't bring himself to take meds all day everyday for the pain. No problem. The Magnificent Sans could handle a little pain! He had a job to do, and by the Queen he'd get it done no matter how bad his leg got!

He only took a few steps before stopping again, something in the snow catching his eye. Footprints, leading off into the woods. Sans turned to find that they led from behind him on the other side of the path in an almost perfect line, straight across. He hesitated, unsure, but finally decided to follow them off the path. As he got further from the lamplight, the shadows grew deeper, branches catching at him and roots tripping him up. But he kept his eyes trained on the snow, and the footsteps. It could be a lost human. But why would they have left the path? It was obvious which way to go wasn't it? He paused suddenly, looking around.  
… The path was pretty far behind him now… And this felt strangely…  
Familiar.

His breath caught as the nostalgic feeling crept over him. He'd done this before hadn't he? Followed and followed them into the woods until… Snap. He'd been caught.  
This was a trap. With a soft gasp he quickly began backing away, eyes darting around. Nothing looked amiss. The forest was quiet and calm, the rest of the snow undisturbed and resting quietly. Still, he knew. It had to be a trap, no one ever came out this far, not unless they wanted to be alone. Not unless they had something to hide, or-or-  
He turned and bolted, focusing his magic on keeping his leg from giving out. Nothing tried to stop him. No traps snapped over his legs, no hands grabbed at him. He made it to the path safely, skidding to a stop, panting and trembling as he calmed himself. Nothing was there. No one was trying to hurt him here. Here was safe. He was home with Papyrus and Alphys, and even if he couldn't fight that well anymore, he knew Papyrus had been training diligently in his place. Sans sank down, crouching in the middle of the path and covering his face.

He suddenly remembered the first training session he'd had after healing for awhile. Him and Alph had fallen right back into their old habits, fighting like he was just as healthy as usual. Then he'd tried kicking her, his bad leg slamming into her arm when she'd blocked. He remembered Papyrus holding him, Sans baring his teeth in pain and crying as Alphys apologized over and over again. God that had hurt.  
…. But Paps was there. He took him home after that and babied him, tried healing him(again), and refused to let him train again till he was convinced he'd rested enough-

Sans stood up, viciously shaking off the lingering fear. He needed to get moving. Nothing was in the woods, and he didn't need to check out those footprints. Probably just another monster, going off to do… Something. Something...  
He turned and started back towards town, walking quicker than before. His knee burned, but he'd just ask Alphys for an ice pack when he got to her house. It wasn't a big deal.

-

Halfway through Snowdin he had to stop and rest. By the time he made it to Waterfall, he felt like he could collapse. There had been no more scary "encounters", no more nervousness. Not unless he counted walking through the active, very much awake town. That had been nerve wracking. Usually he was early enough to slip through unnoticed, but that forest thing had dropped him a little behind schedule. No matter. He couldn't avoid them all the time. Papyrus was nowhere to be found, unfortunately, but that was normal. He had his own life to live.

Sans stopped at Papyrus's station on the edge of Waterfall and rested there, sitting on the counter chewing on some tough candy Muffet had given him. It was gross, but did wonders for his magic, so he suffered through it. He would've gotten food from Grillby, but the man lived all the way in hotlands. No way Sans could make that walk alone. And no way would he even hint to Papyrus that he knew Grillby. His brother would flip! He didn't like the guy one bit. There wasn't really a reason, not one that he would give at least, but his distaste was obvious. Sans decided suddenly that if he had the time, he'd see how far he could get through Hotland.  
He really missed Grillby.

There were a few monsters who greeted him on his way through, but like with Snowdin, most still avoided him. No big deal. He never really talked to them in the first place. They were distantly polite, yeah, but never friends. Sans was fine leaving it that way.  
He had plenty of friends already! Or, he'd had friends. Now it was just…  
Him.

Waterfall made his bones ache. Maybe it was the humidity, or maybe it was just the long walk, but he didn't like the place at all. The only good thing was the scenery. The glowing vegetation, the flowers whispering softly as he brushed past them… It felt so welcoming.  
He was getting close to Alph's place now. Not much further.  
He usually saw his brother either on his way to or from training, but so far today, Papyrus was holding his word, staying home to rest. Probably on the phone with Undyne, talking about SOULS. Seemed like it was all he wanted to do lately. Sans couldn't grasp this new obsession. Why was he so desperate to get to the surface? Not like he'd ever even been there in the first place. Neither of them were alive when monsters roamed above. He didn't even know what it was like up there. Maybe humans were mean. Maybe they-  
What was he saying? He'd met humans. They were all so sweet! Sure, he wanted to meet more of them, but not that bad. Not bad enough to obsess over it.

There was Alph's place! He sighed with relief, feeling the tension leak out of him. Safe.  
She answered on the fourth knock.

"Sans!" She swept him up in a tight hug, swinging him around in a circle.

"ALPH!" He laughed happily, and when she dropped him he stumbled a little. She caught him by his shoulders.

"Woah, you good there weirdo?" She held onto him, looking him over with worry.

He nodded vigorously. "Just need some ice if you've got any."

Alphys brought him in and sat him down. While she prepared a makeshift ice pack Sans slipped off his brace, wincing as he extended his leg. The bone had been gouged deep, and even after all those healing sessions(from Undyne, Pap, and even Alph), they were just as obvious. He rubbed them gently, his fingers dipping into the grooves a little.  
A sliver of longing spiked through his SOUL.

"Here!" She dropped it into his lap, and he squeaked in surprise.

"Thanks."

She touched his leg, a troubled shadow passing over her expression. "Sans… It's really warm."

"That's what the ice is for!" He chirped, brushing her hand aside to replace it with the pack.

"How much magic have you been pumping into it?"

He paused, glancing up guiltily. "... Enough. As much as it takes to keep me going."

"Listen," she sighed. "You're gonna burn yourself out if you keep doing this."

"I have my snacks-"

"Even with your snacks," she interrupted. Alphys pulled a chair out and sat beside him. "You're pushing yourself to hard. You don't have to be the only one working this much. You're not the only guard in training I have. If you need a break-"

"I've got it," he said quickly.

"-then I can assign someone else to Snowdin for a day or two. It'd be good for some of those Hotland idiots to get a taste of the snow." She leaned forward, the chair creaking loudly under her. "You're going to fall down if you keep doing this."

He blanched. "No I won't. It's just a sore leg."

"Sans-"

"I'm good. Look, can we just get to training? We're gonna be late." He set the ice pack on the table, taking the brace from her and slipping it back on. She stood up as he did, placing a hand on his shoulder.

"Sans." She held his gaze, and he glared back, knowing what was coming. They'd had this conversation many times before. "We're worried about you."

"I'm okay. Really."

Alphys glanced away. "You haven't… Told any of us what happened to you. Back there?"

He looked away too. "Yeah, I know."

".... Sans, take the day off."

He gave her a startled look. "What? No! I want to train!"

She smiled a little. "I know you do. You're a tough little guy, kid! But, even the strongest guards need days off. C'mon. For me?"

"No. I don't need a day off!" He pulled away, fuming. "I can't just sit around doing nothing! I need to train! What if another human falls down here? We both need to be ready, we have to be!"

Alphys closed her eyes, taking a slow, deep breath. "Sans. I'm sorry. But this is an order. I order you to take a break."

He sputtered for a moment, incredulous. "You-you can't do that! You can't order me to-"

"I'm the head of the royal guard and you're one of my students. It's my job to order you around." She rubbed the back of her neck, nervously. "You want me to call Paps to take you home?"

He flushed, looking away. "No. I can walk."

She cringed. "You know that's not what I meant."

"Yeah," He pouted, crossing his arms. "I know."

With a heavy sigh, she pulled him into a hug. "Go see Dyne soon, okay? She wants to talk to you."

"I know."

"Take it easy. I promise we can train soon, I just want you to relax."

"I know."

She held him for a few more seconds, just long enough to make it uncomfortable, then released him. "Alright weirdo. Get out of here."

She gave him the ice pack, then showed him the way out, walking with him for a few moments before waving him off. He smiled gratefully when she said he could come back the day after the next. At least it wasn't a week, or something terrible like that. He knew that just like Papy, she'd watch him go until she couldn't see him anymore. Unlike Paps, who did it out of worry, he knew she did it for everyone. He wasn't a "special case" for her, which was why, on some level, he respected her more than he respected his own brother.

His knee wasn't happy with him. Of course he'd let his irritation override his common sense. Sans should've agreed to letting Paps take him home. It wasn't a big deal if his friends worried over him. If anything, he should be grateful. And he was, it was just so annoying when they treated him like he was fragile. It was just a sore leg! Nothing too bad. Not anymore, at least. When he'd first gotten back his brother had been pretty torn up about it (and so had Sans, quite literally). He spent a long while doing that weird obsessing thing, making sure he was okay and blaming himself for it. It had been a hard time for them both, but they'd dragged each other out of it. It had been eight months since his return now, and they'd mostly fallen back into their old habits. Although Alphys seemed especially hung up on it, his brother seemed to have let it go. Mostly…

Speaking of which…  
Sans paused by the workstation on the outside of Snowdin. He needed a small rest.  
Sitting there felt a little funny. He was usually on the other side, leaning over the counter and bantering playfully with his brother who would usually be reclining back, smirking and casually smoking. From this side, he felt… Different. More authoritative. Kind of nice, actually. He kicked his feet up on the counter, wincing as pain sliced through his leg. Too much, relax, bend it a little…  
He sighed, closing his eyes. It was nice enough. He could see why Papyrus liked sleeping here. If he really got comfortable he could even fall asleep, but he wasn't going to do that, he had to get home. Alphys had ordered him-

-

"hey, nerd."

Sans groaned softly, wincing as he looked down. "Huh?"

Papyrus grinned back at him, leaning on the counter. "oh, how the tables have turned. you shouldn't sleep on the job sansy."

He smiled, giggling. "Unlike you, this isn't my job. I'm just visiting."

"i can see that. give up on training?"

"No, I-" he paused, blushing a little in embarrassment. "... Alphys sent me home," he mumbled, sitting up and hopping off the chair.

"sent you home?" Papyrus tilted his head, still giving his brother that funny smile. "was it your leg?" When he just nodded, looking away, Paps grabbed him and wrapped him in a hug. "hey, it's no biggie. just means you and me get to have more bonding time, right?"

Sans giggled again, pushing him away. "Yeah. Yeah, I guess it does."

He grabbed his face in both hands, just staring at him for a second. "... want a piggyback?"

"Ugh, yes. My leg is killing me." He pulled away again, laughing.

"see, look how easy it is to admit it," he teased as he hoisted him onto his back. "and now you get to sit back and just enjoy the ride. win win!"

"Are you gonna shortcut?" He asked, resting his chin on his shoulder.

"pfft." He snickered, switching his cigarette to the other side of his mouth. "nah. thought we could take the scenic route today. you up for that?"

"If you're driving," he mumbled, closing his eyes.

"yeah, i am." He glanced over, a softer, more genuine smile creeping over his face. "you're good bro. get some sleep."

"Mmhhmm," Sans sighed. "Okay…"

Papyrus paused for a moment, just staring at him, then continued into Snowdin, grinning like an idiot.

-

He was careful not to wake his brother up. Nightmares. He had a lot of personal experience with those bad boys. Papyrus had them all the time, and by this point he was used to filling his free time with napping to make up for the lost sleep. Sans on the other hand wouldn't let himself do that. He was a diligent little punk, no matter how tired he got he'd keep pushing through. Alphys was a saint. He was surprised she'd let him go home, considering she usually just let him power right through it, do his own thing. Maybe she'd finally reached her limit.  
Paps knew he had.

Sans had always been a bit impulsive, and worse, he was easy to manipulate. It had worried Papyrus a lot for awhile, but he'd given up on trying to stop him. He was impulsive, but he wasn't stupid. Sure, he climbed up on the roof once and jumped off on a dare. Sure, he climbed those skeleton trees a lot and always fell. Hell, he got into more fistfights than Paps could count. But still, ever since he'd been impulsive enough to take a dare from that kid, what was his name…  
Well he was dead now the idiot. Anyways, Sans took a dare from some stupid Hotland kid and almost lost a leg over it. And ever since then, he'd been acting different too. Not to mention the nightmares, the nervousness- it was setting Paps on edge. He knew something was seriously wrong with the whole situation, but until Sans talked, no one would know. The only other monster who'd gone with him was dead now, and no one could go back.  
Well… Almost no one.

Papyrus felt a little guilty for keeping it from everyone, but he knew exactly how to go back. He had all the tools he needed right on hand. He just didn't want to. Didn't want to know what it was keeping Sans quiet and docile. Didn't want to see anyone from wherever that place was.  
He just blocked out that curiosity for Sans's sake.

The older skeleton went up the stairs to their door and fumbled to grab a key from his pocket. As he let go of one of his brothers legs he mumbled grumpily at him, pressing his face against his hoodie. Papyrus smiled to himself, unlocking the door and carrying him inside. He pushed the door closed with his foot, then trudged upstairs to put Sans in bed. He stood there for a moment, trying to think of a way to keep him from waking up, but it was inevitable, it seemed. He turned his back on the bed and pushed Sans's legs off. He let go, slipping off and sitting on the edge. Papyrus crouched and pulled his brother's shoes off while he watched, still in a tired daze.

"Hey, it's cool," He whispered reassuringly as he stood. "Lay down.".

Sans scooted back in the bed, kicking the covers out of the way and obliging. His brother pulled them back up over him, then sat beside him on the bed.

"I'll make sure you're up for dinner or something. Just sleep as long as you need." He leaned forward and kissed his head. "I'll hold the fort."

"You better," Sans mumbled, smirking. "Now shoo, you're interrupting my beauty sleep."

He patted his chest one last time before standing and leaving, closing the door softly. He stood still for a moment, listening. When there was no noise of him getting back up, he finally left him alone, going downstairs to… do something. Probably sleep as well, there wasn't anything else he could do anyways.  
He'd check in on him later, just to make sure he was still kicking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First fanfic after like, four years.
> 
> This chapter was mostly to place him in a setting and get back into the groove of writing. But hey, I had fun. From here on out, please mind the tags! There may be some triggering content ahead.


	2. Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sans goes to see Undyne, but it doesn't go quite as planned.

Sans woke up late. The town lights were on, as were the house lights. He could hear Papyrus up and about downstairs.

For a few minutes, Sans stayed where he was, bundled like a burrito in blankets. No doubt his brothers handy work! He burrowed deeper into them for a moment, content to sleep the day away since he had it off. A direct order from Alphys to do absolutely nothing. Well, the Magnificent Sans would do nothing as best he could! He would do everything his brother did. That was close enough to doing nothing. 

He might have stayed in bed all morning had Papyrus not come to wake him up. 

 

"hey, bro. you're up. finally."

 

"Well now I am." He sat up, stretching as Papy sat beside him. He flopped back against the pillows almost instantly, sighing contentedly. "I'm home all day today!"

 

"yeah. i have a few rules though."

 

Sans grinned. _"You_ have some rules?"

 

"oh shut up," he chuckled. "yes i have a few rules. one: no loopholes. you stay home, and that's it."

 

"Deal."

 

"good. two: you let me wrap your leg up."

 

Sans hesitated. "Why?"

 

"you've been limping. i want you off it completely today, okie doke?" He grabbed Sans's hand, squeezing. "please?"

 

"Oh, no, don't- not the _face_ Papy!" He cried. The taller skeleton was giving him the puppy look again. "Noooooo!" He groaned, covering his own face. "Fine, FINE I'LL STAY OFF IT!"

 

"good! three: the crutch."

 

"Oh Papy not the _crutch!"_

 

"yes sans. otherwise i carry you around like a baby."

 

He didn't move for a moment, then sighed, miserably. "Fine then, if it makes you happy."

 

"it does, don't worry." He patted his leg. "now gimme a minute. i'll be back."

 

He sat up again,  scooting to the edge of the bed as Papyrus went to get bandages.

… He wondered if his leg would ever heal completely. Past the point that even the queen had tried and failed, he assumed not, but still. He hoped. Sans reached down to touch the deep grooves again, his fingers sliding over and through them. They didn't hurt anymore, mostly just his knee. He glanced guiltily at the door, then leaned down, reaching under the bed and feeling around. His hand nudged a small bag, and he quickly leaned back up, satisfied. It was still there. When Papy was done he'd pull it out and put it on. No matter how bad his days we're, it never ceased to-

 

"don't look so down," Papyrus said suddenly. Sans jumped in surprise, giggling nervously. 

 

"I'm not."

 

"look, at least it's just around the house. you don't have to take the stupid crutch outside." He crouched in front of him, staring at his leg. A flash of something dark crossed his face, his expression shadowed for a moment. Then he smiled up at his brother easily. "promise."

 

"Good. I'd just die if you made me." He watched Papyrus touch the scars, his fingers dipping into them just like Sans's had. "... Papy?"

 

"right. sorry." He went to start wrapping, but Sans grabbed his hand. Papyrus glanced up at him. "yeah?"

 

"I'm okay. A sore leg isn't going to kill me."

 

"it's not the leg i'm worried about."

 

"I'm not disappearing again, either."

 

They stared at each other for a moment, silently, before Paps finally lowered his gaze. "i know."

 

"Are you sure?"

 

He nodded, shame faced. "i know you won't leave me again."

 

Sans cringed, letting go. "I'm sorry."

 

"me too," his brother replied softly, starting on his leg. ".... what do you want to do today? we could watch movies. oh, dyne lent me a few of her animes. i know you like those!"

 

"Sounds great Papy." He watched his brother, both of them falling silent. His hands moved quickly, round and around. He'd done it a lot when he'd first gotten back. Wrapping and unwrapping his leg had become easy enough after a week of it. Paps had refused to let Sans do it himself, insisting on helping him care for his injuries. 

 

Sans thought back to that first day. He remembered how mangled it had first been when he'd finally made it into the house, a horribly broken, makeshift splint strapped to it. Sans had raided their fridge for anything, expecting some kind of meal leftovers, but no. In fact, it had been untouched, the leftovers from when he'd last been there months before moldy and old. It had scared him. Papyrus wasn't home either. He'd walked out of the house and started the long, painful trek to Alphys's place. Her poor face when she saw him. She met him halfway, and when she realized he was alive and, for the most part, well, she'd had cried with relief, scooping him off his feet and carrying him the rest of the way to Undyne's.

Papyrus hadn't cried, but he'd hugged him hard enough to hurt him, and he held his hand as Undyne patched him up. Alphys had provided juice boxes and had made insta-noodles for them all. Although the two girls had been chatty and excited, happy to have him back, Papyrus had only sat in eerie silence, trembling.

 

Sans stayed overnight at the LAB, and Papyrus slept beside him. That first night had been riddled with night terrors and hallucinations. No one got any sleep. Undyne cleared them to go home two days later, providing him with pain medication and strict orders to have at least one healing session a day. She'd also demanded weekly checkups. They'd agreed to all of it, Papyrus making Sans hold the old crutch while he carried him.

That's when they'd first started having the long, drawn out silences. Neither knew what to say, so they'd just stopped talking as much. Weather talk, mundane discussions about how their days were going and what they were doing for fun had died, shadowed by the bigger question both were avoiding. 

Where had Sans actually gone?

 

"alright." Sans jerked a little in surprise. Papyrus was studying his handiwork. ".... if you want i can just carry you down stairs. just like old days."

 

Sans's expression soured. When had the past few months turned into 'the old days?' "If you insist. Anything is better than that da- aAH PAPY!" He cried as he grabbed him and tossed him over his shoulder. 

 

"what? i didn't say how!"

 

He giggled, smacking him. "Well you should've! Now onward, steed."

Papyrus carried him down to the kitchen, the two of them bantering back and forth, even as he set him down by the table. Sans fell silent, pleasantly surprised to see it all set up for a hearty little breakfast. "You… Cooked."

 

"yeah. i let you sleep in so i could make you breakfast. cool huh?" He paused for a moment, nervously. It was a surprisingly new look on him. He was wringing his hands and everything. "is it… okay?"

 

"What?"

 

"do you like it?"

 

Sans started. "Do I-?Of COURSE I like it! Pap, you cooked! That's awesome!"

 

Papyrus flushed, obviously pleased with himself. "oh. yeah, i mean, it's not much… just some eggs, heh."

 

"No, this is great! Honestly, I really wasn't looking forward to cooking on my day off, so this really means a lot." He sat down, watching his brother pour them both some coffee. He felt another bubble of happiness when he noticed that Papyrus wasn't adding a lot of sugar. Bland: the way Sans liked it. "Thanks Paps."

 

"it's nothing." He set the cups on the table and sat with him, folding his hands. "kinda fun actually. might do it more often."

 

"C'mon, don't lie to me lazy bones! I know how much you hate doing literally _anything."_ He beamed down at the fluffy omelet on his plate, sighing happily. He felt a small twinge of guilt. There were people worse off. People who didn't have cool brothers who cooked for them. Or even food at all. Some people starved. Some people became desperate. 

Some people killed.

Sans's hand unconsciously rubbed his knee under the table, feeling the clean bandages. Something he hadn't had for a good few months there. 

_Something they still didn't have._

 

Papyrus waited for a moment. "... it'll get cold if you keep staring at it. unless you've got hungry eyes, then by all means, stare away."

 

Sans glanced back up, his smile a little more strained suddenly. "Maybe they are. What's it to you bucko?" He took a bite and sighed blissfully. "This is nice. I like it."

 

Papyrus relaxed(Sans didn't realize until just then how tense he'd been) and picked up his own fork. "thanks bro. made it with lots o' lovin'."

 

Sans hesitated as he slowly registered how strange it all was. "... You uh… You alright, brother?"

 

He glanced up. "yeah, why?"

 

They stared at each other for a few moments, challenging. Sans looked away first. "You wanna talk about something?"

 

"... honestly?"

 

"Honestly."

 

"well, yeah, then. i mean, isn't it obvious?" He chuckled softly. "don't worry about it shortstack, we have plenty of time to talk later. don't wanna ruin this _fine_ meal."

 

Sans laughed a little with him. "Sure. Of course." He knew what Paps wanted to talk about it. The topic that had been on their minds for months now. The exact topic they'd been avoiding. He took another bite, a large one this time to have an excuse not to speak. He'd tell him. After their movie, maybe. They'd sit down for a SOUL to SOUL chat. He shivered, imagining his SOUL in someone else's hands again. Claws, imbedding into it, digging through his head, pulling up memories that he'd been forced to see and forget all over again. Sans set his fork down. 

"You wanna get the movie ready or should I? Kinda wanna watch it now. Breakfast and a show!"

 

Papyrus paused, a bite halfway to his mouth. "uh. sure kid. you stay here, i'll go… put it in i guess." He stood, taking his plate with him to their little living room. "you okay with that anime i told you about?"

 

"Of course. I don't really mind."

 

Papyrus stayed still for a moment, waiting for more, then nodded. "ok. don't move."

 

Sans had no intention of moving. He fiddled with his fork for a few moments before setting it down. "Paps could you grab my crutch too?" He called. There was a very audible pause. 

 

"... sure! gimme a second."

 

There was the stomping of him going upstairs, and then silence. The house was quiet, save for the creaking of old, worn wood and the steady dripping of their leaky sink. He waited patiently, tapping the table and humming a little.

Sans worried a lot about his poor little brother, especially since he came back from that place. Papyrus was worried right back, for once openly showing his concern. Although it felt good to see him caring about something, it was just as worrying for Sans. If his brother felt like he needed to show it, then it had to mean something was definitely up.

 

"here." 

 

Sans glanced up, smiling. "Thanks." He took it from him and stood up. "Come on. We've got an anime to binge."

 

-

 

The house was perfectly quiet. Sans laid in bed tossing and turning for the good part of the morning, before eventually sitting up and staring across the room at his window. Early. Again. The town lights were off, and so were the house's lights. Everyone was asleep but him. He scooted to the edge of the bed, pausing when he remembered the bandages. He spent a good few moments picking at them, then just left them there and slipped his brace on over them. They made his leg feel a bit stiff, but whatever. Not like he was fighting anyone anytime soon. Alphys would probably take it easy on him too.

He flicked on his lamp, went over to his door, and locked it. 

Under the bed he went, patting around for his bag. As soon as his hands touched it, Sans snatched it out and quickly unzipped it. There it was.

His dusty old jacket.

 

It was old, sort of frayed, worn with age and harsh use. The fabric was red and black, with thin white stripes going down the arms and sides. He pet it for a moment, then slipped it on. It was big on him, but he didn't care. He closed his eyes and sat still, enjoying the momentary warmth before quickly stuffing it back in the bag and shoving it under the bed. Later.

 

Sans got dressed in a hurry, then wrote a quick note telling Paps to patrol by the Ruins and that he hoped he had a good day. As a last minute thought, he wrote a quick apology for the day before. Next was his bandana, and when that was tied safely around his neck, he slung his backpack on. He'd go straight to Alphys today. He needed to get some of this stiffness out.

 

The walk there was slow and steady. No reason to run: he was almost an hour early. And besides, he wasn't staying long. He had to go all the way to Undyne's LAB today, for one or their talks. In short, an hour of her trying to get him to open up and him skirting around answers or flat out ignoring her.

Why did she bother by this point? She knew she wouldn't get anything out of him. He wanted to forget it, not to talk about it. He didn't want to open up about it, not anymore. It was too much. 

 

Sans shook his head. Just thinking about it was giving him a headache. He could just skip out on her again. He's skipped out the past three times, and she still hadn't called-

 

"SANS!"

 

He jumped in surprise. Alphys was charging towards him. The skeleton yelped, scrambling to dodge and failing miserably as she tackled him, scooping him up and spinning around. 

 

"You little turd! How was your day off?"

 

"Hi Alph," he wheezed. "Great. Boring. My ribs are creaking."

 

"Oh, sorry." She set him down, laughing sheepishly. "Forgot you were all bones for a second."

 

"Sure," he grumped. "You say that everytime."

 

She threw back her head and laughed out loud, one hand on her stomach. "It's true! I promise, I promise…" She slung an arm over his shoulder. "Come on kid. No hard training today! Just a little something to loosen up." She sniffed him. "Hey, have you had breakfast?"

 

"No…. But I'm not hung-"

 

"Sans!" She yelled. "You know how vital it is to get a healthy breakfast every morning! And with your leg-" He yelped again when she slapped the back of his head. "Stupid! We gotta fix this!"

 

"No really I'm not-"

 

She scooped him up under her arm with a roar fit for a Dragon and sprinted for home, Sans whining and yelling at her the whole way.

Luckily, unlike their usual cooking sessions, this one ended in nice, fluffy pancakes and a mess that only covered half the kitchen. 

 

"So why didn't you eat?" She asked through a mouthful of fluff.

 

"Didn't remember," Sans shrugged. "Not too big of a deal."

 

"The Magnificent Sans forgot something? Impossible!"

 

"Ha ha, thanks dweeb." He took another bite. "But really, it's fine. Yesterday threw me a little off schedule, I'll be okay later."

 

"Speaking of later," she said carefully, her tone scolding," aren't you supposed to go see Undyne? She said you two haven't talked in awhile…"

 

Sans paused for a moment, chewing slowly. ".... Yeah, I've been a little…."

She waited patiently, watching him. He glanced away. ".... Busy."

 

"Doing what?"

 

He twiddled, looking everywhere but at her. ".... Stuff."

 

"And today? Are you busy with more stuff?"

 

He sank into his seat a little. ".... No."

 

"Great! I'll take you over later myself." She continued eating, smiling happily. "It's good for you. Talking through your issues helps you mature and grow past them!"

 

"I don't have issues…" He mumbled defensively, but she was already moving on to the next topic. Sans sighed, miserably. No getting out of it today.

 

-

 

Alphys carried him under her arm like a football, sprinting the entire way from her house to the lab. She ooed, awed, and sighed dreamily at the warmth and heat. He wondered why she didn't just move here if she liked it so much. 

Undyne was happy to see him, and like usual, anytime Alphys tried talking to her, she got flustered and stuttery. The second she left, Sans relentlessly teased the Scientist. She ignored him, blushing furiously.

The two sat down to eat some ramen, chatting lightly for a while before getting down and serious. It went about how he'd expect. She asked questions, he gave vague useless answers, and she did that lean forward look at him over her glasses thing, telling him how serious this was. He responded that he understood and that he was taking it _very_ seriously.

 

Eventually, like usual, she gave up, ending their session by clicking her pen and whisking her glasses off. "Alright. We're done. Let's move on."

 

"Lets." He leaned forward, pulling the leg of his sweatpants up further and slipping the brace off. They both paused when they saw the bandages.

 

"Papyrus?" When he nodded, she rolled her eyes. "Yeah, he's like that. We'll uh… wrap it again afterwards."

 

"Thanks."

 

So off they went, around and around as she took her sweet time, moving slow so she didn't jostle him.

She had thin, soft fingers, and they traced the scars carefully as she studied them, her eyes focused. "... No healing, huh?"

 

"No. We've still been trying every now and then… but no." He winced a little as she grabbed his ankle and straightened his leg out a bit. 

 

"Hurt?"

 

"Yes."

 

She pressed a little on one of the scars, then on his knee. He jumped that time. "Hurt?"

 

"Obviously."

 

"Have you rethought medication?" She looked up hopefully. He could tell it hurt her that he himself was hurting.

 

"No thank you," Sans responded softly. "Not yet."

 

She nodded, standing up. "I'm gonna pull your SOUL now, okay?"

 

He nodded, tensing. "Go ahead."

 

This was the usual. After the SOUL thing, she'd scold him, remind him to frequently try healing sessions, and call either Alphys or Papyrus to come pick him up. No matter how quick this part was, it never failed to scare him. His SOUL, in someone else's hands…

 

"There."

 

He blinked in surprise. Oh. There it was. 

His SOUL was average. Pale, glowing silver, hovering just above her gloved hand as she studied it closely. ".... No cracks. No fractures. Not even a tiny nick. You've been taking care of yourself. It's only a little duller than usual, but that happens to a lot of us. I expect nothing less from the Magnificent Sans," Undyne giggled. He flushed, glancing away bashfully. He was about to compliment her back when she spoke again.

"You know, we could always do a SOUL to SOUL."

 

He froze, SOUL clenching in fear. She didn't seem to notice.

 

"I understand how scary it can be, talking about… Anything. If you're uncomfortable speaking, I could schedule a SOUL to SOUL, and we could-"

 

"No," he snapped, his voice harsh. She drew back, taking his SOUL with her. His wild eyes followed it. "Don't touch it. Please don't touch it."

 

She stared at him for a moment before a shadow passed over her face. Realization hit her. He saw it the moment she figured it out.

"Sans." Her gaze was focused and intense. "Did someone touch your SOUL?"

 

He gaped at her, eyelights gone. It answered her question, and she narrowed her eyes.

 

" _Sans._ Did someone touch you without your permission?"

 

_Hands._

A soft, pained noise escaped him. "No. No, no one-"

 

"Don't lie to me. This is serious. If someone touched your SOUL without consent, you need to tell me."

 

He shook his head. "I- I can't- no one-"

 

"How old are you again?" She asked. "Not under eighteen right?"

 

"I'm twent-" Sans shook his head again, hard enough to make himself dizzy. "No. He didn't mean- I-"

 

"He?"

 

Sans froze up once more. "Undyne, please, I don't wanna talk about this."

 

"Sans this is serious. If someone-"

 

"No," he snapped. "It isn't important. I didn't mean it."

 

He face flushed with color as she grew angry. "I'm calling Papyrus."

 

He stood up too fast, and his leg gave out. He stumbled, catching the desk. _"NO!_ No don't call him please just give it back!" He lunged across the table, trying to grab his SOUL. She yanked back, shocked.

 

"Don't snatch it! Stop it, you could damage it Sans this is fragile-"

 

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry, please just give it back don't call him he can't know I don't want him to know!" He cried, rushing through his words. "Please don't touch it, just give it back to me!"

 

She stepped around the table cautiously, holding her empty hand out. "I won't. I won't touch it, I swear. You're safe, I promise." She edged forward, her hand still out. He didn't move as she very gently, very carefully pulled him into a hug. "There. You're okay. Everything is going to be okay. No one will ever, _ever_ touch you without permission again."

 

Sans closed his eyes, breathing hard and trembling. 

_Hands._

_Claws imbedded in his SOUL, digging through his head, trying to find something, something…_

 

A door hissed open at the back of the room. 

 

"Not now!" Undyne called quickly. There were quick footsteps, and a soft gasp. "No, not now-"

 

"Sans?"

 

The skeleton jerked back, eyelights shrinking as he leaned around Undyne to see him. Nope, not his imagination. 

Grillby.

 

"Sansy!" The flames he was made of burned brighter, a wide grin stretching across his face.

 

The pure joy in that name wrenched a sob out of him and he rushed over, throwing himself into the fire monsters arms, relaxing in his comforting, warm embrace. He knelt, and Sans sank down with him, his face pressed against his shoulder as he cried pitifully. "What happened to Sans? Talk to Grillby." he soothed, rubbing his back. "Tell him."

 

He didn't answer, just held on tighter, waiting for the tremors and tears to pass. He felt Grillby tense abruptly.

 

"Why is Undyne holding Sans's SOUL? Why does she have it?" 

 

"Grillby now really isn't the time-" she started, but he interrupted her.

 

"What did she do?"

 

"I didn't do anything, he's just scared. I'm holding his SOUL so he didn't damage it." She sounded irritated now, glaring at the flame monster.

 

"It's alright," Sans finally spoke. "She's okay."

 

Grillby instantly relaxed, petting his head. "What happened to him? If she didn't hurt him, why is he crying?"

 

"Nothing. I'm sorry Grillby. I- I should've come to visit you-" He stood up, helping his friend up as well.

 

"Grillby is not upset with Sans! A few months is nothing for him, for he rarely receives visitors as it is." He rested a hand on Sans's head. "He's very happy to see Sans, not the contrary."

 

"A few- Grillby, it's almost been a year-"

 

"Um." Undyne inched up beside him. "Here. It's dangerous to leave it out." She held his SOUL out. He gladly took it back, pulling his shirt up to place it in his ribcage. Grillby politely looked away.

 

"Undyne…" His face grew warm with shame. "You can't tell Papyrus."

 

She looked away. "Sans-"

 

"Please. If he knew, he wouldn't-"

 

"I won't tell him."

 

His gaze jerked back to her. "What? Really?"

 

"Really. It's our secret." She turned away, picking her glasses up and cleaning them. "Grillby, can you walk him home? We're done here."

 

He nodded, beaming. "Of course he will. He always loves spending time with his best friend." Sans giggled as the fire monster noogied him.

 

"Tha- oh, wait, we have to wrap my leg." He glanced down.

 

"What is wrong with Sans's leg?"

 

Undyne and him made eye contact. He tilted his head, and she shook her's ever so slightly. Grillby didn't know. She hadn't told him about Sans missing.

 

"I got it…. Stuck," he said carefully. Instant interest sparked in Undyne's eyes. That was the most he'd said about the matter. He looked away. "Its n-"

 

"Would he like Grillby to heal it?"

 

"We've tried. It doesn't work."

 

"Let him try." The monster insisted.

 

Sans looked at Undyne, sighing with exasperation. "Alright, fine. If you really want."

 

Grillby pushed him back towards a chair, and Sans stumbled a bit, sitting down. He knew the fire monster was touchy, and he didn't know anything about what had happened, but even so, him pushing Sans made him feel so…. Uncomfortable. "He should sit down. Healing can make him dizzy."

 

"Right, sorry Grillby."

 

He crouched in front of him and placed both hands on his knee. "What hurt him?"

 

He hesitated, glancing at Undyne. She pretended to not be listening. "I- I don't really want to talk about it."

 

"Of course. Grillby understands." He focused on what he was doing, letting magic flow from him to Sans, warming his entire leg up.

 

Sans paused, watching in awe as the dull pain faded away, leaving only a warm, pleasant sensation in his SOUL. 

The fire monster glanced up at him, smiling slyly.

 

"Did-did you heal it?" Sans leaned forward to see.

 

"No. Grillby could not heal it. But he did take the pain away yes? Did he?"

 

"Uh, yeah. He did. That's amazing, Grillby!" He beamed at him. "No ones done that before!"

 

The flames grew brighter for a moment, them just staring at one another happily, before Undyne coughed softly. "Hey you two. Lets get that wrapped up again and send you on your way."

 

The mood was much lighter. Sans almost forgot the SOUL ordeal as they joked and just had a good time. It felt good, knowing that Grillby had _no idea_ what had happened to Sans. He wouldn't treat him differently. He wouldn't blame him for any missing children.

It was about another hour before she finally sent them on their way. As the pair stepped into the hotlands again, he glanced back to see her immediately going for her phone. He froze. 

 

_No._

She wouldn't tell him. She'd promised. He slipped his hand into Grillbys, seeking a little comfort. The monster gave him a surprised look before squeezing gently, then pulling him along towards Waterfall. 

 

They talked about vague things. What Grillby had done while Sans had been avoiding him, what Sans had done. He didn't ask about his leg anymore, and he didn't ask about the whole SOUL ordeal. He just let it be. The more they walked, the safer Sans felt. Happier, more relaxed. Grillby seemed determined to walk him all the way home, and by that point, Sans wanted him to as well. So what if Papyrus saw. Not like they were doing anything scandalous.

His gaze drifted away from Grillby's face, down to their joined hands. His hand was warm, but not sweaty like Alph's hands. Just warm and soft. He was fiddling with Sans's fingers, gesturing with his free hand as he talked on and on. 

 

Sans slowly tuned him out, focusing on something else instead. He was watching Grillby play with his hand. The fire monster didn't seem to realize he was doing it, as engrossed as he was in whatever he was saying. Sans felt his SOUL swell for a moment, his face heating up. No. No, this was definitely scandalous. Wasn't it? His body warming up, magic glowing bright in his joints…

Was this…?

 

If it weren't for the first flakes of snow hitting his face, Grillby might have caught him staring. They walked in sudden silence until the house came into view.

 

"Grillby would like to ask Sans something."

 

The skeleton monster smiled up at him. "Go ahead. I'm all ears," he giggled a little, seeing as he didn't have ears. Stupid joke. Nonetheless.

 

Grillby laughed nervously. "Of course he is, of course. Um. Sans and Grillby have known each other for… A very long time, and they are very close. He was- he was wondering if Sans would like to… Well...."

 

He wasn't listening anymore. Sans was staring at his house, eyelights winking out. 

His house, where Alphys was standing at the bottom step, worry in her eyes, phone in hand. His house, where Papyrus was standing on the porch, orange flickering in his eye, a crushed cigarette in his hand.

 

She'd kept her promise. Undyne hadn't told his brother, she'd told Alphys. Alph, who had no obligation to keep it a secret.

 

"Sans? Is Sans alright?"

 

He was standing still, a few yards from his house. Papyrus looked up and noticed the two. His expression softened, only a little, as him and Sans made eye contact. Pity washed over his face. Pity, and anger.

He knew.

 

Sans started forward again, numb. Alphys turned to look at him, her expression hurt. He faltered again. No. No, he couldn't do this. 

Faintly, he could hear Grillby asking him what was wrong, and he saw Papyrus push past Alphys on his way to meet him. Sans tripped up, then suddenly changed course, turning away and bolting. Papyrus yelled his name, but he didn't stop. He channeled magic into his knee and sprinted through town, going straight for the Ruins. He didn't look back to see if they were coming after him. Looking back would slow him down. 

 

They knew. They knew now what he'd been hiding. They knew he was lying. Papyrus knew. His brother wouldn't trust him again. He'd never believe him. 

Some small part of him argued that no, they didn't know the whole of it. They only knew that someone had touched is SOUL. Someone had taken it from him, dug through his head, and tortured him with memories he didn't even know he had. Then they'd shoved them all back down, forcing him to forget all over again. 

They'd been so mad when they realized Sans didn't have whatever it was they were looking for. Whatever it was seemed to anger them more, if anything. Claws digging into the SOUL, silver fluid dripping down between them, full body pain just _ripping_ through him-

 

Sans skidded to a stop, shaking his head vigorously as he caught his breath. No. No, he didn't want to think of any of it again, _ever_. No matter what they said, no matter what anyone asked, he didn't have to. It was his choice what he talked about. His choice what memories they saw and he remembered. No one was going to force them out if him ever again. He was in control. He trained everyday, he practiced, even through the pain in his leg. When it grew too much to handle, he ate something, channeled more magic into his leg, so much that his wounds were hot to the touch, and kept going. 

 

He had food to eat, and he never wanted to go without it again. He had clean clothes, a shower, medicine, bandages- all the things he hadn't had for months. 

All things he'd make sure Papyrus always had. Things his brother took for granted. He cringed, looking down at his brace. All things he'd taken for granted as well, for so long. 

 

Sans took off again, running along the path. Monsters passed him, avoiding or flat out ignoring him. They didn't know about that. About the stupid kid who'd gone with him. Sans closed his eyes as he ran, tears threatening to overcome him. They blamed him. They didn't realize it, but they all knew what he'd done. It was his fault that kid hadn't come back with him, his fault the kid was dead. If he hadn't agreed to that dare, if he'd just-

His thoughts were cut off as something snapped taut against his neck, clotheslining him. The choked noise that left him wasn't one he'd ever had a chance to hear before then. His feet slipped out from under him, and he fell flat on his back, the air leaving him in a rush.

 

…. What the _hell?_

Sans stared up at the black, shadowy cavern, snow drifting down and settling gently over him. It fell into his eye sockets and sizzled against his eyelights. He gasped in a sharp breath, and his eyes focused on something right above him. A thin, blue string, stretched across the path. It was glowing faintly in the dim light. He sat up slowly, gingerly prodding his neck. It stung where the string had gotten him. 

 

He pulled his legs up to stand, but something tugged on his ankle. More blue strings were wrapped around his bad leg, trailing off into the woods. He stared for a moment, baffled, then reached down to pull them off. Something abruptly yanked on it from the other end. He shrieked as pain seared through him, scrabbling at the ground as whatever it was didn't stop pulling, dragging him through the underbrush into the words.

 

_"No NO!"_ Sans kicked wildly, desperately trying to grab at the trees as he slid past. There was a blinding light in the forest, just like the last time he'd gotten lost. He cried out, terror gripping him. He didn't want to go back. Not again, he couldn't leave Papy again-

He looked back, squinting harshly as the bright light overcame him, and he was dragged inside.

 

Something slammed against the back of his head, and the white light winked out in a flash.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please be mindful of tags!  
> Also I know the formatting for the writing changed, but I have never used ao3 before and can't figure out how to fix it.
> 
> Now we're getting down into the meat of it. FUN FACT: The leg brace Sans wears? Its actually just an old knee pad they found in the dump. It isn't as helpful as they think it is.


End file.
